I bought up my God at a deluxe sale, He fits snugly in my pocket, clinking With my loose change, a most amusing tale, Here is no cross or bitter-wine drinking. My God is easy, always telling me That I am right (he’s less sure about you), Does not deny me opportunity, To glorify myself (and despise you). He shows my reflection so prettily, Blessing my light words and rock-hard actions, As I judge my neighbour oh so wittily, Urging God’s wrath against your infractions. I glide from the Temple all safe and sound, While you still slobber (for shame!) on the ground.