The Monologue of Lazarus: A Poem

Do not wonder why I am pale and ashen
Do ask me if I have seen a ghost.
I do not want to tell you: I have drained
My own blood, and drank it: I am the reason I wane
The film on my eyes is my light, my shame
I suffer, but you need not suffer the same.

The aim of this game is to pretend
There is no game, and if you win
You lose, for you have lost your brain
The badge of your apehood (or the mark of Cain)
To discern fact from image, and image from falsehood
As Babel’s king bore the image of the beast he feigned.

Do not ask me to describe what it is like,
After all these years, to realize
You have been swallowing air, the fruit of Nothing
That you are now only vapor, you are not even there
That you live on nothing, which is the same as not living,
And not to live is to live in despair.

There. I do not exist, it is done.
I claim the honor of the greatest magician
To see or not see is an impressive illusion
But to be and not be! That is the question.
Why don’t you applaud my clever confusion?
Because I am not here. Neither are you, or you wouldn’t have come.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It was only a joke; I am not really here.
Do not look for me, call for me, and make me appear.
See, I am enwrapped in nature’s cloak
I am dead, and death is no joke.
But do not weep for me, either: do not laugh or weep
I know who you are. I know what you seek.

I know who you are. I tell you do not see me.
I am the bread that was broken: I am the memory.
You come to destroy me, you betray with a kiss
But I will destroy you before you do this.
The film on my eyes is my light, my shame
I suffer, but you need not suffer the same.

Do not ask why I am weeping. Do not call into my grave.
I know my sentry Time like footsteps is approaching
And when you speak, I must obey.
I know not why you endowed my soul such worth
Or how you found me, when I was nowhere to be found
This I know: I was dead, and dragged up from the earth,
When you cried to my broken body: “Lazarus, come forth!”

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